While I was having dinner tonight at the local diner, I had the pleasure of sitting behind a group of four people who are either in a community college philosophy course, a cult, or a self-help group. Whatever the scenario, the group “discussion” was being led by a 20-something deadbeat with an iPad (a white one, too). I’m not sure what he does for a living, because he “doesn’t put labels on himself,” but I was able to – for free – glean these gems of wisdom over the course of my meal:

  • You only have to smile for a micro-minute for someone to know you smiled.
  • Communication is only abstract so much as it is scientific.
  • WordPress is computer code that makes websites.
  • When criticizing someone, leave a long pause afterwards in order to impart the value of revelation.
  • The field of Graphic Designs is evolving.
  • Communication Skills dictate that you explain your thesis for 5-10 minutes.

Seriously, this was like reading spambot comments aloud for an hour. I hope these four people aren’t the voting kind, because this just shattered my faith in humanity.